When is anise an ass?

Until last night the idea of drinking Absinthe held no interest for me, that is, until enduring a performance of the Las Vegas show Absinthe. The notorious anise-flavored liquid has been debunked as a hallucinogen. Regrettable because maybe a swallow could erase the memory of the show. Absinthe is a spirit which, upon ingestion, supposedly spawns the appearance of the Green Fairy who imparts fantastical visions. What might be the most fantastic aspect of the show Absinthe, is the amount of 5-star reviews it has accrued online. The show is promoted as being bawdy and provocative. Absinthe plays out as a 19th century circus, featuring a sleazy host and his scatological sidekick. They introduce a parade of offbeat acrobatic talent, including a large dose of erotic themes. The show convenes in an actual tent, adorned with a colorful vintage outsider-art aesthetic. The seating is so artsy as to be terrible. Picture semi-circular rows of mismatched barstools zip-tied together leaving no space between the seats. Thus, perfect strangers are jammed tight, body parts forced together. And there’s the rub: disrespect for the audience. As the show begins, the audience is introduced to the ravishing Green Fairy, who transforms from mythical creature to burlesque flesh and blood. Between each act, the vulgar host known as The Gazillionaire, and his ditzy sidekick attempt to entertain with snappy repartee and interactions with the audience. The main problem with this grotty pair is that they are not at all funny. Obscenely unfunny. Their filthy jokes and unkind ribbings go so far beyond propriety that they wallow into the realm of vicious and stupid tripe. The talented acrobats are entertaining, and even a parody dance segment featuring the host and sidekick evokes laughter. But, their lowbrow bits succeed in spoiling the show. Comedy is an art form, not a contest to see how much horse-shit can be piled upon a captive crowd. In a hollow attempt to topple stereotypes and prejudices they blather, all the while setting up their own sacrosanct subset, and summarily savaging everything else. Again, the disrespect for the audience paired with a swollen ticket price, make for an uncordial plunge into a green puddle of loathing.