The Dam Sign

Guess how much the new sign marking the Nevada/Arizona border near the Hoover Dam cost? If you guessed $396,090 you would be correct! Additionally, if you guessed correctly, you might consider playing the lottery or delving into gaming. It’s only money. Right, Las Vegas?

The stately sign might have been more effective if they’d included a welcoming phrase or motto. Perhaps it’s not too late to add a tasteful plaque. Free idea: “Nevada. It’s Still Here.”

In other highway news: Further down the road past the new sign, an Adopt-a-Highway sign proclaims that section of road is sponsored by “Bulk Supplements”. Stay classy, NV!

Who Dat?

Old Hooters never die, they just fade away.

Battle Born and Bread

2020 will signal my official search for the best bakery in Las Vegas. Real live bakeries are a rare breed in 2020 America, especially in Las Vegas. The truth is there’s a popular bakery near me, but they do not bake bread. It’s all cookies and cakes- elaborate cakes. Where is a decent freshly baked loaf of bread or hamburger bun in this valley? I intend to find out. And I intend to document the search.

In the interest of empirical research I’ll need to establish the comparative criteria. I also might have to learn Excel to chart my future findings, if indeed there are findings to chart, and if indeed I can actually learn a new skill.

Nevada is a relatively young state, and old-school bakeries belong to the midwest and the east. A long tradition of family and neighborhood bakeries live where winter happens. It’s sort of logical that few bakeries exist in the white-hot desert. But, we have air conditioning now so where’s the yeast? Maybe northern Nevada holds some hidden gems. We shall see. Let the grains begin!

There are no Churros Here

Welp, the flavor of the 2019 Mystery Oreo has been revealed, and sadly, I did not win the sweet $50,000 prize. My first impression of the mystery creme was that its flavor & smell was: “something from the clearance aisle of Bath & Body Works”. The flavor turned out to be a trifle more food related. My actual contest guess is unimportant. What is important is that Nabisco has the final say, and proclaimed the new flavor to be “Churro”. What? Real churros are cinnamon-y and tasty. The cookie comapny’s idea of churro flavor is quite different than mine. So, Nabisco and I are at permanent loggerheads over this. Don’t know how they came up with their secret formulation. To me, it will always be a mystery. Never to be solved. Or eaten.

chips, no dip

Welcome to a general store which doesn’t feature sacks of flour or bolts of calico or canned goods. This store is loaded with the stuff of gambling. Back up the covered wagon and load up on dice sticks, lammers, money paddles and/or shufflers amongst the not-general-very-specific inventory. Do you need a roulette wheel, strategy cards, a table felt or perhaps personalized poker chips? And really, who doesn’t? Step up and stock up on the previously-used dice and playing cards retired from real Las Vegas casinos. Bonus: Those casino cards might be imbued with raw luck from a previous winner; or the dice sitting on the shelf could be teeming with good fortune. Buy your own luck!

Take a chance. Start your own casino or fancy gambling parlor today. Double down on your shopping list.

 

Candy is Dandy, liquor is quicker, and gaming is flaming.

At Halloween, Americans let their freak flags fly. Somehow, Halloween has evolved into a national obsession, with Americans spending 8.8 billion dollars on the trappings of spooky. That’s a lot of green dropped on the orange + black.

Ranking these United States in celebrating with costumes, candy and decorations, Nevada comes in third. Quite the distinction.

Here’s the statistical breakdown for Nevada:

  • Annual candy consumption: 726,467 pounds
  • Annual candy consumption per 100,000 people: 23,941 pounds (3rd highest)
  • Top 3 favorite candies: Candy corn, Hershey’s Kisses, Tootsie Pops
  • Education: 50th
  • State starch: Candy corn

“Priorities!”, said Las Vegas. “Happy Halloween!”, said wretched excess. Trick-or-Treat, USA!

WE’RE NUMBER THREE!